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Arif Shaikh, who was also at the gathering, says growing up he knew some Muslim kids who did date. "Muslim kids who are in relationships are more secretive than Navy SEALS," he says.
"They can do anything and they're completely un-traceable." Shaikh says the way his parents got married doesn't work for him, or a lot of young Muslims who have grown up here.
It wasn’t until college that he was thrown in with other Muslims his age.“Lots of grandmothers and aunties, they have these folders full of bio-data and they’re passing them around and saying, look at this girl, look at this guy, it’s like trading cards,” she says.Bio-data are what Irshad calls "dating resumes." Many young Muslims feel like they're in limbo: An arranged marriage is out of the question, but they don't want to disrespect their family and religion. " — was the topic of conversation at a recent gathering of Muslim college students in Boston.But then she discovered a group of like-minded friends on a tiny listserv called “Mipsterz” — Muslim Hipsters — and began to create a community of her own.* “The listserv started as a joke,” she says — but it soon became much more. ” A year later, those conversations led Mubeen to create the website Hipster Shaadi, its name playing off the Indian matrimonial site shaadi.com, a favorite platform of immigrant parents wanting to fix up their American children with nice Muslim prospects back home.
For millennial Muslims of South Asian extraction, Shaadi — with its tone-deaf profiles in awkward English and requests for “wheatish or fair complexions only” — is usually invoked as a punch line.
"The only evidence that they had that the other person existed before their marriage night was simply a small black-and-white picture and the good wishes of a couple of relatives," he says.